Taking the First Step: Understanding Why You Deserve Help for Your Mental Health

Have you ever felt like you're just not coping, but you're not sure if it's "bad enough" to seek help? Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself it’ll pass like so many people have told you? If you've ever been diagnosed with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, chances are you have heard the phrase "Everyone gets depressed sometimes" or "Oh, don't worry, it'll pass". And if you're someone who suspects that you might have a mental health disorder chances are you have talked yourself out of going to get the help you need because of these statements. But it’s crucial to understand that taking the step to get support is often the key to better managing and understanding what you're going through.

I think all of us are aware of the fact that the stigma of mental health is such that it is easy to dismiss the struggles we're facing rather than admit that we might need some help. This stigma is a combination of so many things. One is the long-standing belief that you are 'weak' or somehow 'lesser than' when asking for help with your mental health- the notion that someone might think less of you if they figure out that you need help in areas that they're able to manage so well might also come into play here. 'Well, it seems easy enough for that person, they're managing just fine without making a whole scene of it all', might also be something you're telling yourself. But here is where you're wrong. Mental health is not an exact physical science, there is no cut-off score for the number or the intensity of problems you're facing where you're 'qualified' to ask for help from a professional. It's kind of like how everyone has different thresholds for when the music gets too loud, you're not weak just because you feel like what you're going through is too much. It's simply a case of individuality. If you want to know more about these different thresholds, you should read up on the diathesis-stress model. 

Another common notion that holds us back is the fear of having a label placed on us- the fear that people will reduce your entire identity to just a disorder and you will forever remain a 'depressed person' or an 'anxious person' and that label will limit you from being anything else that you want to be. This is honestly a misguided perception because, as we all know, humans are extremely complex and it is impossible for a person to be just one thing. You can be a person with anxiety and be an amazing manager, a person with depression and be funny and entertaining. This fear is more about how we perceive ourselves than how others perceive us. There are all kinds of things you can do and people you can be while also having a mental disorder and getting the help you need to live the best life you can. And that is simply not possible if we continue to dismiss our symptoms for fear of being put into a box.

What we tend to do when we continually dismiss our symptoms is rationalize by thinking that we have it under control and that we have managed so far and will keep managing. But unfortunately, that's not how it works. A really powerful quote I recently heard from a YouTuber Jessica McCabe, a woman with ADHD sums it up:

"The longer we go without getting the support we need, the longer we have to figure out how to cope on our own, and those coping mechanisms aren't always going to be healthy. The longer we go without understanding why we're struggling, the more likely we are to develop dysfunctional beliefs about ourselves and our abilities." 

So many of the coping mechanisms we create for ourselves are actually behaviors that are going to cost us in the long run. If you regularly turn to alcohol/smoking or drugs to drown the sadness in you, scroll Instagram for hours just to escape the increasing sense of dread and apprehension you feel, or lash out at people when overwhelmed, I'm afraid you might have to dig a little deeper to the source of these behaviors. And the ones I mentioned above are just basic examples. Here is an image you can use as a tool to help you introspect more. 

Apart from this, as mentioned in the quote, you can end up creating dysfunctional beliefs about yourself. ' I am not good enough', 'I have to be perfect', 'Nothing I do matters', 'It will never get better', 'No one likes me'- all of these are beliefs that could shape up the core identity we build for ourselves. This core identity ultimately affects how we view ourselves and consequently shapes our way of living. All of these dysfunctional beliefs could end up severely affecting our self-esteem and consequently lead to various issues including social anxiety, generalized resentment, a crippling fear of rejection, catastrophizing, etc., etc. 

At the end of the day dismissing or diminishing our symptoms doesn't just deny us the best lives we could end up living but could end up hurting our relationships, our careers, and most importantly our sense of contentment with life. Just as sometimes we need professional help with fixing our TVs when just banging on them doesn't work, we need professional help while navigating life's challenges. 

It doesn't have to be this hard. It is okay to ask for help. 

And while it isn't going to be easy, I guarantee you that the journey you take for your mental health is going to be worth it.